Welcome to Blackbird Dating!
Here we’re all blackbirds. We may have some wounds, but nevertheless we try to find our wings, that we might fly. I’m here to help with that–to help you see your way. Here I share my guiding philosophy for dating smarter and dating better.
However you got to single–divorced, widowed, never married–here you are. If you want a next best relationship, I can help provide some context and skills to navigate the dating wilderness.
Guiding Principles: Authenticity, Information, and Kindness
Dating in the context of the age of the internet is vastly different than before. That said, I think it’s important to stick to some guiding principles that pre-date the internet, principles that are timeless and simple–being a good human being and being good in relationship to other human beings.
After all, the internet may be the medium which empowers us to meet our future mate, but ultimately the connection we seek is with another human. As we go forth looking for that one special connection, let’s be kind to the others we meet along the way. That’s at the heart of Blackbird dating philosophy.
Be Authentic
The journey to finding a right romantic partner begins with yourself. The better you know yourself, the better you’ll be able to recognize a suitable partner. Additionally, the better the version of yourself you put out there, the more confident you’ll feel and the more attractive you’ll be to potential partners. You deserve someone who appreciates you for who you are.
By being your authentic self, you’ll be true to yourself and find a truly suitable partner. My goal is not just to help you get a relationship, but to help you find a right relationship.
Gather Information
Be smart, safe, and savvy about dating. Gather what information you can about a potential match before getting off platform. This will help you avoid unsafe, unsavory, and unsatisfying situations. It will also save you time in the long run, by not wasting your time on bad people or woefully wrong connections.
You can gather some information (photos, summary, and misc. data) about a potential match from their profile. If their profile doesn’t offer much information, that’s a red flag.
Before getting off platform, verify that they are who they say they are with a Google search. Input their full name along with other information (i.e., employer, location) to confirm that the information matches. Again, if you can’t find them, that’s a red flag.
Potential matches also give plenty of information through their words and behavior. If their words and behavior don’t match–red flag! Pay attention to both their words and behavior to discern the kind of person they are, and if they’re a good potential match for you.
Be Kind
Dating is hard. It’s a hopeful thing, where we open ourselves up to possibility. But it’s also an emotionally vulnerable experience–putting yourself out there, navigating disappointment, dealing with rejection. And being a single can be lonely (But it’s better than being in a bad relationship!).
Life is hard too. We all have a myriad of challenging life experiences to wade through–health issues, financial pressures, professional stress, family matters, death of a loved one, etc. At any point in time, there’s so much we don’t know about what other people are going through.
You’ll likely face rejection at some point, and you’ll likely reject someone at some point. Both can be hard. We can’t control how others behave, but we can determine our own behavior. Let’s not make this harder and more hurtful than it already is.
We get to help determine the culture of online dating by how we choose to conduct ourselves. Let’s try and elevate the culture of online dating toward better. We can do that by going forth in kindness ourselves, and in doing so, by making the culture better.
Finding Your Person
Blackbird dating philosophy is centered around being our best self to attract better potential matches. It allows us to take pride in who we are and not settle for less than we deserve.
To find the person and relationship you seek, be clear on your relationship values and keep these guiding principles in mind–authenticity; gathering information; and kindness.
For guidance in dating, building an online profile, and discerning who you’re looking for, you can refer to my series of lessons. Additionally, if you have other questions or would like to discuss how I can help you as a dating coach, see my contact page or leave a comment below. I want to help you date smarter and date better, to empower you to find right connection.
Good luck out there!