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Relationship Mistakes: Apply What You’ve Learned

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We all have lived experience, some of it good, and unavoidably, some bad. This experience–what happens to us, what we make happen, and how we respond to what happens–helps inform who we are and how we grow (or fail to) as individuals. Ideally, we evolve and become better versions of ourselves, having learned some lessons from our lived experience, including relationships and relationship mistakes.

Most of us have made our share of relationship mistakes. To do better going forward, it’s important to learn from those mistakes, then be intentional about applying what you’ve learned.

Lessons Learned

At this point, hopefully you’ve learned some lessons from your dating and relationship history to help guide you in your dating experience. Myself, I’ve learned enough to fill a (literal) manuscript. I also have notes aplenty for manuscripts yet-to-be.

If you haven’t been intentional about learning from your relationship history, it’s worth taking time to reflect on this. What were some relationship issues from your past? Do you have any relationship mistakes that haunt you? Relationship regrets? Relationship mistakes might include actions and behaviors of yours; your choice of a romantic partner who was a poor fit; or the problematic behavior of a former partner.

If nothing easily comes to mind, do a Relationship Autopsy (per my last post) to dig down and really identify past issues, so that you can avoid repeating them.

If you’re intentional about learning from your relationship history, this can also help you identify your Relationship Values, elements that are crucial to your ability to thrive in relationship. It can also help you recognize any patterns of behavior that you want to replace in yourself or, conversely, avoid in a partner.

In this post, we’ll focus on applying the lessons we’ve learned from our dating-relationship history.

Be Aware: Recognizing Your Mistakes and Theirs

To apply the lessons you’ve learned from relationship mistakes, it’s necessary to bring an awareness–an objective eye–to your experience in real time. If you’re able to zoom out effectively, you can watch your own behavior, as well as the behavior of any potential romantic partners.

With that watchfulness, you want to be on the lookout for any of your past behaviors/choices that you want to interrupt or any behaviors from matches that are problematic. Of course, you’ll also want to pay attention any positive or attractive behaviors and chemistry as well–this is what we’re ultimately after.

Self-Awareness

Start with yourself. We carry our histories with us, but in each moment we have the opportunity to choose who we are anew and where we want to go. To put the best version of ourselves out there, first we must have a strong self-awareness–recognizing our strengths, weaknesses, inclinations, and patterns of behavior.

Acknowledge your shortcomings, both past and present, in relationships so that you can address those behaviors and tendencies going forward. If you identify areas that you still need to work on, zoom out and ask yourself why you engage in that behavior or have that tendency. What feeling is behind it? How does that behavior serve you?

For instance, if you recognize that you’re prone to being defensive, ask yourself why. Usually defensiveness is a shield for insecurities, either presuming that someone’s on the attack or a deflective denial of any wrongdoing.

Whatever negative behavior you recognize, dig down and get to the bottom of why you’re manifesting this behavior and what you can do to interrupt it. In the example of defensiveness, you might ask yourself: What am I insecure about? Why? Have I had this behavior modeled for me(e.g., from a parent)? What can I do to build my confidence? How can I interact in a more prosocial way?

Tweak the questions to suit whatever behavior pattern you’re trying to interrupt, so that you can truly understand the Why behind the pattern of behavior. Then, practice a replacement behavior. When doing so, think, “Fake it till you make it.” Practice is the ‘Fake It’ part, until you internalize the new behavior mindset.

In our example, let’s say that you realize your defensive behavior is because your father’s always been hypercritical of you, so you’re constantly on guard expecting criticism. To practice a replacement behavior, try to catch yourself feeling, behaving, or talking in a defensive manner and truth it out–Is this person really saying something that’s critical of me or am I assuming that’s their intent? If it is critical, then listen to them and honestly consider whether what they say is valid.

Additionally, you can write/repeat any mantras and self-messaging that you want to internalize and practice. In our example, that could look like, “Don’t assume that everyone’s on the attack.” To work on any insecurities, maybe something along the lines of, “I’m worthy” or “I’m doing fine.” If you deflect any criticism, perhaps “Listen instead of deflect.” An appropriate mantra will depend on what the motivation behind the behavior is.

By knowing any personal foibles, you can be on the lookout for them, catch yourself in real time, and practice the replacement behavior. This practice will help you put the best version of yourself out there, which will make you feel more confident and help you attract better matches. If you’re already mindful of doing the work to be the most evolved version of yourself at any point in time, then well done!

Now, let’s consider what you’ve learned about behaviors of former romantic partners…

Pay Attention: Be on the Lookout for Potential Mistakes

People are always giving us information through their words and behavior. It’s our job to pay attention to this information so that we can see them for who they are. There are probably some behaviors of former romantic partners that you found problematic. Keeping in mind that we’re all imperfect, determine what behaviors you can live with and which are dealbreakers.

Red Flags: Avoiding Problematic Partners

Once you’ve identified behaviors of former partners that were problematic for you, be on the lookout for those behaviors with potential matches. For instance, when my ex and I disagreed about something, he was frequently condescending and dismissive of my point of view, devaluing me. As a result, I’ve developed a very acute radar for when a man mistreats or behaves in a disrespectful manner to me.

Last year, I went on a date with P and on another date with R. There were a lot of things I liked about both of them, however, on each date I recognized condescending behaviors on their part.

P had a tendency to mansplain. R’s problematic behaviors were twofold–he made assumptions about me rather than listening to me and he was very aggressive about his point of view. P’s approach was gentler, but it was still condescending.

The thing is, while I recognized their behaviors for what they were, it still took me some time to process the dynamics of our interactions. I went into both dates hopeful, but I had some misgivings on the dates themselves that gave me pause. When you have misgivings or pause about an interaction, a behavior, or a relationship dynamic, pay attention–that’s a red flag that you are raising and waving at yourself.

Heed the flag and examine the behavior that you noticed. I liked both men enough that their behavior was unexpected and caught me off-guard. Despite hours on the phone, I hadn’t experienced either the condescension or verbal aggressiveness prior to meeting them. They were showing me who they are, but it was a side of them I hadn’t witnessed before.

I had to remember where I’d been and the lessons that I’d already learned and knew so well, then apply that knowledge to the current situation. It wasn’t an immediate recognition of the behavior with neon lights screaming at me, “NO GO!” Rather, it was a confusion, a subtle wondering, “Why are you treating me this way?” It was a not liking how it felt, then a further examination of my misgivings. Pay attention to those disquieting moments; they’re tells.

Green Lights: Watch for Good Signals

On the flipside, while you’re on the lookout for any problem behaviors, also pay attention and notice any attractive behaviors. Do they treat you well? Are they affirming of who you are? Do you feel seen and heard? Are you at ease with them? These are signs of someone who could potentially be a good partner.

Further, if you recognize attractive and positive behaviors, share that with the person–affirm their positive behavior and make them feel appreciated. Feeding the connection with positive reinforcement will nurture the connection and feel good for both of you. Kindness feels good, whether you’re on the giving or receiving end. And if the chemistry is good, positive affirmation can also provide some momentum to the connection.

All Systems Go: No Serious Mistakes Detected

We all have histories. To be ready for right relationship, we need to learn and evolve from our histories rather than let the baggage from our history burden us and the potential of future relationships. And, we deserve romantic partners who do the same.

If you’re actively engaged in being the most evolved version of yourself that you can be and you don’t see any behaviors that are red flags or dealbreakers from your potential partner, then have fun exploring and enjoying the connection for whatever it can be!

Final Thoughts

We are our histories, but we can use our histories productively, learning from our relationship mistakes rather than being limited by them. With an awareness of our histories and an eye on where we are, we’re empowered to live better, make better choices, and have better relationship(s). Good luck out there!

Up Next: Looking at Dating Profiles–Photographs

Doing a Relationship Autopsy

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Relationships begin from a place of Hope, taking a jump of Faith with another person that travelling down a road together is better than travelling it alone. But break ups happen. Hope and Faith aren’t enough to guarantee relationship success. When this happens, it can be helpful to perform a Relationship Autopsy to better understand why the relationship was ultimately unsuccessful.

Relationship Autopsy Defined

Just as a post-mortem on a body tries to find answers about the cause of death, a Relationship Autopsy is for trying to understand why a relationship didn’t work out. It’s not about casting blame, rather it’s about trying to step back and take an objective and analytical view of the relationship’s issues and its failure to thrive.

The Purpose

The point of doing a Relationship Autopsy is to have insight into Why a relationship or relationships didn’t work. Understanding the Why behind a relationship’s failure empowers you, as you go forward, to address or recognize any issues in future relationships.

You may discover that you have behaviors to own and address. There may have been some red flags that you missed and should have paid more attention to. Maybe the Relationship Dynamic was unhealthy. Perhaps the person was simply a bad fit, and you want to steer clear of certain behaviors or qualities going forward. You may realize a character flaw in the person you were with that sabotaged the relationship.

It’s essential to be as objective as possible, even though that’s hard when emotions run strong. You can’t change or fix another person, only they can do that. Focus you’re energy on what you have power over:

  • Acknowledge any behaviors that you need to work on, so that you can improve yourself and what you bring to relationship.
  • Acknowledge any failures to recognize fatal shortcomings in the other person, so that you can be more attentive to red flags in the future.
  • Acknowledge any toxic Relationship Dynamics, so that you can recognize and avoid them in the future.
  • Consider any challenges of the larger context/situation of the relationship that may have been unsurmountable or sabotaged the relationship.

Once you determine the Whys, you can work toward any needed self-improvement and choosing a more suitable romantic partner in the future.

How to do a Relationship Autopsy

When doing a Relationship Autopsy, there are four main considerations–the role you played; the role your former romantic partner played; the role of the Relationship Dynamic; and the larger situation/context of your relationship.

Your Role in the Relationship

When reflecting on your role in the Relationship Dynamic, be honest and own your shortcomings. Try to be neither defensive, nor berate yourself, as these are unproductive emotional responses.

Your purpose is to analyze the relationship as objectively as possible. To do this, you need to lean into a rational space. This will help you determine how you can do better going forward. Self-awareness is growth-oriented and a positive relationship trait.

For instance, I recognize that in the past, I wasn’t always as flexible and open to compromise as I should have been. I also wasn’t always good about standing up for myself and communicating my needs, leading to anxiety on the front-end and resentment down the road. These are areas that I’ve worked to improve.

As part of the analysis of your role, consider traits or patterns of your behavior that your partner mentioned as problematic or hurtful (e.g., Too smothering? Too inattentive? Flaky? Inconsiderate? Not a good listener?…). Consider whether or not those complaints are valid–maybe they are; maybe they aren’t.

Their Role in the Relationship

When considering your partner’s role in the relationship, don’t play the blame game–that’s leaning into emotional space and isn’t conducive to gaining insight. Instead, zoom out from your emotions to take a more objective perspective.

As you reflect, ask yourself:

  • What were your romantic partner’s shortcomings?
  • What drove you bananas?
  • What hurt your feelings?
  • What made you feel devalued?
  • What personality traits annoyed you, angered you, or turned you off?

Make note of any patterns of behavior in your former partner(s) that was problematic, that you may guard yourself against partners with these behaviors in the future. Try to be as specific as possible. The more clarity you have on what doesn’t work for you, the more easily you’ll be able to recognize those shortcomings and behaviors when you see them.

Further consider–Did your partner do their best to be their best self and partner in the relationship? If they didn’t make the effort to be their best, then there’s nothing you can do except choose a better partner in the future.

If they did their best, then be kind in your assessment of them. Either way, as long as you put forth your best self in partnership, you deserve someone who does the same.

Another consideration–Did they put the relationship first or their self-interest first? Did they see disagreement as something to work out or as a conflict to win?

I’ve been in couples therapy where instead of discussing our issues respectfully, my “partner” refused to give any validity to my feelings and point of view. He seemed to think that therapy was to determine a winner, with our therapist acting as the referee. If one person in the relationship wins, then, by default, the other loses. That’s neither a relationship move nor a love move.

The Relationship Dynamic

Sometimes two people doing their best still isn’t enough to make the relationship work. In this case, consider the Relationship Dynamic–the unique energy of the space created when two people interact. How did you feel in that space? Did you feel seen and heard in that space? What was the chemistry of that space?

Consider anything unhealthy patterns of interaction between you and your partner. For instance, when I’d tell my ex how his actions hurt my feelings, his predictable response was to get defensive, turning it around on me, “I’m not the one who does that, you are.” There was no way for me to be honored in a context where my partner couldn’t even validate my feelings.

Reflect on your Relationship Values, what you want in a relationship and how you want to feel in relationship. Which of your Relationship Values were met in the relationship? Which Relationship Values were inadequately met? Likely, you will find that some of your values were met (otherwise you probably wouldn’t have been in the relationship), but others were not.

Relationship Drama

When thinking about your Relationship Dynamic, consider the role of Relationship Drama in that dynamic. Was drama minimal/non-existent or did it have a predominant role in the relationship? Drama isn’t a healthy way to interact or resolve conflict, but some people thrive on it and create it. I’ve been in a relationship with a partner who created drama. I didn’t feel emotionally safe in that relationship, and it wasn’t a place where I was able to thrive.

Areas of Conflict

At some point, all relationships will be tested by disagreement or challenges. How you and your romantic partner handled these moments is a reflection of the health of your Relationship Dynamic. Were you still able to interact and partner in a healthy and respectful way toward each other? Or did it become a situation with a winner and a loser?

Think about what communication looked like when you disagreed about something. Use specific disagreements/fights that you remember. Carefully consider each of your roles in the dynamic, being mindful to own your role, whether you have bad behavior to address, or whether you put up with toxic behaviors from your partner. Ask yourself which of the following dynamics pertain:

  • Did you feel seen and heard? Did you make an effort to see and hear them?
  • Were you both able to stay reasonably rational even though you disagreed? Or did it escalate into emotional drama?
  • Did you feel your point of view was respected or demeaned? Were you respectful of their point of view?
  • Was their silence/no speaking from either or both of you?
  • Were either or both of you passive-aggressive? Did either of you play the martyr?
  • Was there blaming involved on either side? If so, was it justified or not?
  • Did either of you get defensive?
  • Were disparaging and disrespectful remarks ever made? By who?
  • What was the voice level? Reasonable? Raised? If raised, how much?
  • Did disagreement involve a lot of drama? Was it volatile?
  • Did you ever feel emotionally or physically unsafe? Did you ever make them feel that way?
  • Did disagreement stay on topic or commonly devolve into a rabbit hole of historical wounds?

If you feel that you and your partner navigated conflict in a healthy way, then kudos to you. That’s a difficult thing to do at points of conflict, and it speaks well of both of you. If not, hopefully you’ve discovered some think-abouts that you can address going forward.

A dynamic involves action and reaction. Think about how disagreements began and how the dominoes fell from there. Try to connect the dots of the cause-effect of your arguments as much as you’re able. How did you come to your partner when you were upset about something? How did they react? Alternatively, how did they come to you when they were upset about something? How did you react? What behaviors were productive in that disagreement and what behaviors were unhealthy?

And finally, how was conflict resolved? Were you able to come to an amicable decision? Were you able to reasonably compromise? Did it end in a stalemate? Did you do your own things? Conflict will arise in all relationships, and it’s important to have a path toward conflict resolution that works for the relationship, not just one partner. I was in two different relationships where instead of partnering with me at our point of difficulty, my partner told me, “I’m going to do what I want to do.” I ended both relationships.

The Context of the Relationship

Sometimes two people have a compelling connection, but the larger context of their lives creates challenges that are difficult for the relationship to surmount. The challenge of this context may even be a source of conflict.

There are many different things that could make a situation difficult for the relationship to thrive:

  • Professional obligations: lots of travel for work; working odd shifts; long hours; military deployments; etc.
  • Geography: long distance, a tricky commute; etc.
  • Lifestyle: rural vs urban; level of physical activity; outdoors; maritime; travel; particular hobbies/pursuits etc.
  • Religious differences
  • Political perspectives (How do James Carville and Mary Matalin make it work?)
  • Health issues
  • Relationship with exes (Don’t get me started.)
  • Children (I still remember the Match profile from years ago where the guy had six children. No.)
  • Living situation (Living with parents? Sharing a home with an ex? No thank you.)
  • Sexual proclivities

Do you see any external challenges that created issues in your relationship? If so, you’ll want to factor this into consideration as you discern whether future situations are a context within which you can thrive.

You many also want to consider whether anything you did contributed to make the situation more difficult than it needed to be. Were you too inflexible? Did you empower and prioritize another person over your romantic partner (e.g., a parent, ex, friend)? If so, can you do something differently to ease the context of future relationships?

What to do with the Results

Once you’ve spent time reflecting and analyzing what did and didn’t work in your relationship(s), you can use that knowledge to empower you in your search for a future romantic partner.

Be Your Best You

Use the insight you’ve gathered to identify any areas where you have work to do as an individual and as a partner, that you can bring your best you to relationship, and be the best partner you can be. As long as you choose a partner who makes the same effort, this will set you up for a better chance of relationship success.

Choose a Romantic Partner Carefully

If you bring your best you to relationship, you deserve the same from a partner. Use what you’ve learned about past relationships and partners to inform your selection of future romantic partners.

Pay close attention to both what worked and what didn’t in those relationships. As you make new Romantic Connections, use that information to discern whether they have either any of the positive traits or, on the flipside, any of the negative behaviors that you’ve identified from past relationships.

People are always giving us information through both their words and their behavior (Make sure their words and behavior match–if not, that’s problematic!). It’s your responsibility to pay attention to that information and compare it to your learned relationship history to set yourself up for a successful relationship in the future.

And, now that you’ve put some thought into analyzing past relationships for healthy and unhealthy behaviors, you can apply that same skillset to relationships in the present tense. By doing so, you’re able to recognize and respond to any problem behaviors in real time, hopefully averting the need for an autopsy.

Final Thoughts

For whatever reason you’re single, you have a relationship history. By autopsying relationships from your past, you can diagnose any unhealthy behaviors or traits to help inform you in making better choices going forward. Also, keep in mind what did work, to help you recognize those qualities in potential romantic partners. In my next post, we’ll examine how to apply what you’ve learned from your past relationships. In the meantime, good luck out there!

Up Next: Remember and Apply What You’ve Learned

Q & A: Intimacy without Commitment

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A Reader recently sent me the following question:

This one is less practical query, more subjective musing…. I think your readers would be interested in an honest exploration from you of the role of NON-long-term, non-committed intimacy in dating.

While I’m sure that most, if not all, of us are genuinely looking for the last/best relationship of a lifetime, I feel like for people in my age group, there’s also room for, and value in, the “in-between” —  intimacy (not just sex but friendship and emotional closeness) without the expectation of it lasting forever.

There have been a few times in my experience when communication about such things has been good enough that it’s possible to navigate this with nobody getting terribly hurt. Though the chance for an imbalance in expectations is always there.

I know this is a loaded issue, and that male / female perspectives may be very different (or not as different as i think a lot of people assume). Anyway I’d be really interested in hearing you wax philosophical about this from your perspective as a woman with significant dating experience.

To begin with, I think the Reader is spot on in his thinking and musing. I agree that most of us ultimately do hope to find, “the last/best relationship of a lifetime.” But if that isn’t happening (yet), what about other relationship options? Let’s consider…

Terminology

While the type of relationship the Reader is describing sounds like Friend with Benefits, I personally dislike that terminology. FWB connotes a casual relationship–a friend who you hook-up with sometimes. Also, as someone from a certain age group, it feels sophomoric, and it doesn’t seem to adequately match the quality of relationship the Reader describes.

The Reader describes a relationship of, intimacy (not just sex but friendship and emotional closeness) without the expectation of it lasting forever. Intimacy, friendship, and emotional closeness to me indicate more than simply a friendship with a sex add-on. On the spectrum of relationship, it seems to lie beyond FWB, but stops short of a last/best relationship.

As an English major, I appreciate the nuance of words and like them to suit the situation. So, what terminology best fits?

  • Situationship? Maybe. That signifies an undefined relationship, but I agree with our Reader, that communication in this scenario is important. Yet much like FWB, I find this term sophomoric as well.
  • Lover? This achieves the sense of intimacy, but it’s a broad term that doesn’t address commitment or lack thereof.
  • A fling? That connotes a brief love affair, as well as a casting off–the latter, not so flattering an association.
  • A flirtation? Perhaps better, it indicates being amorous without serious intent. Yet that seems to fall short of the intimacy (not just sex but friendship and emotional closeness), that our Reader describes.

For our purposes here, let’s refer to this type of relationship as an “Interlude.” This term signifies both the “in-between-ness” that Our Reader mentions, and it also suggests something with a beginning and an end. It’s a more sophisticated term acknowledging that such a relationship may not be a committed relationship, but a more (amore?) refined term to denote the Reader’s desire for emotional connection and intimacy, as well as physical intimacy.

As for its lack of permanence, an Interlude serves as a type of relationship to fill an emotional and physical romantic space in the meantime, on the way to the last/best relationship most of us seek.

Know Yourself

When considering whether to have an Interlude, begin with from a place of self-scrutiny. Our Reader sounds very comfortable with such an arrangement, but not everyone would be. Be aware of your limits and what you can be comfortable with.

Myself, while I’ve had such connections in my journey, I generally find this a difficult space to inhabit. I tend to only be sexually aroused by men who I feel strong emotional connection with. If I don’t feel the emotional-sexual connection, then I’m probably not interested in pursuing more. And, if I do feel a strong emotional connection with a man, then I tend to want more from the relationship, not limitations in time or level of commitment.

When such a man imposes limitations on what we can be, I find maneuvering that space challenging. And frankly, I don’t appreciate being “good enough” for an Interlude but not worthy of being considered relationship material.

The Reader asks for a female perspective. While I hardly speak for all women, I think this is a common point of view for many women. That said, just as a man might be looking for a certain kind of companionship while seeking for his last/best relationship, there are certainly women who’ll be open to considering anInterlude as well. And, though it’s not a preferred place for me to dwell, I’ve visited it. I’ve had phases in my life where I’ve been more or less willing to get involved in such relationships, depending on how I’m feeling at the time.

This is where I think it’s important to know yourself and what you can handle. Can you handle that level of emotional and physical intimacy, yet still maintain a healthy emotional remove and work within the limits of an Interlude?

Also consider, Who can you handle such a relationship with and still find satisfaction in the Connection? There are some men who I can’t handle such a relationship with, and yet there’s a man who I’ve managed to maintain such an intermittent flirtation with across the years. We have emotional connection, friendship, and strong physical attraction, yet we’ve never manifested as a committed relationship.

In determining whether or not this might suit you, consider specific past connections that never quite got off the ground. Think of how you felt with each person and whether you could’ve emotionally handled that level of emotional and physical intimacy with imposed limits.

Or, if you’ve had a Romantic Interlude before, reflect back on whether or not that worked for you. Was it emotionally messy? Did it provide welcome companionship?

Consider any current relationships you have where you feel connected, but there doesn’t seem to be relationship momentum. Zoom out and examine your thoughts and feelings. Does a Romantic Interlude feel like an attractive option? Or does it feel emotionally dangerous?

Consider the Other Person

Our Reader has good impulses. He states, “There have been a few times in my experience when communication about such things has been good enough that it’s possible to navigate this with nobody getting terribly hurt.“

When pursuing a Romantic Interlude, it’s key to consider not only whether you’re emotionally comfortable in this space, but is the other person? If you care enough about someone to wander down the road of both physical AND emotional intimacy, then you probably care enough about their well-being that you don’t want them to get hurt.

The best way to discern whether the other person can handle such an arrangement would be, as our Reader says, good communication. Such communication would need to clearly express what your limits are and ensuring that they’re comfortable with those limits.

It’s also worth considering, based on your knowledge of the person, your own perception of whether or not you think they could handle an Interlude without being terribly hurt. If you sense that they couldn’t, then perhaps it’s best to not broach the topic at all. Rather, enjoy the relationship for what it already is without pushing at its limits.

Pay Attention to the Signage

As your Interlude plays out, pay attention to the signals that you’re receiving from your companion, both verbal and silent. Do they seem comfortable and relaxed? Do they seem wistful? Do you sense they’re pushing for more? Alternatively, are they pulling away?

Also, zoom out and examine your own feelings about the Connection. Is the Connection satisfying in the way you’d hoped? Do you have concerns or misgivings?

If no particular concerns arise, then enjoy and savor it for what it is while it lasts. But remember, by the very nature of it being NON-long-term, non-committed, it will probably play out at some point. Pay attention to the signage so you’re aware when the Interlude has reached its coda.

On the contrary, if you sense that maybe the Connection is worth exploring in a more committed long-term capacity, pay attention to whether you’re getting any signaling from your companion that they may or may not be feeling the same. Again, as our Reader stated, communication will be crucial to ensure that both you and your companion are on the same page about the limits of the connection or expanding its potential.

By paying attention to the signage you’re getting, both from own your feelings and perceptions, as well as any signals or communication from your Connection, you’ll have a good sense of when it may be time to shift gears or whether it makes sense to maintain your course.

Final Thoughts

While the focus of this post is on Romantic Interludes, ultimately, I hope you find your last/best relationship of a lifetime. I do love the way our Reader worded that. In the meantime, enjoy any Interlude(s) and maneuver them carefully. Good luck out there!

Should You have any questions, please post them in the comments below or send them via my Contact page.